Anxiety
Understanding the parts of you that are trying to keep you safe
Anxiety can take up a great deal of space. You may find yourself thinking ahead, replaying conversations, preparing for every possibility or struggling to settle, even when part of you knows there is no immediate danger.
Perhaps you have told yourself, ‘I know I am safe, so why don’t I feel safe?’ We can make room for both experiences: the part of you that understands the present, and the part that still feels it needs to stay on guard.
What might your anxiety be trying to protect you from?
In Internal Family Systems (IFS), we approach anxiety with curiosity about the protection it may offer. An anxious part might be trying to prevent rejection, criticism, mistakes, uncertainty or being caught unprepared. It may have learned to work very hard because something once felt unpredictable or overwhelming.
We will explore what is true for you. You do not need to find a particular event or explanation for your anxiety to deserve care.
Sometimes protection takes the form of overthinking or constant vigilance. Sometimes it looks like perfectionism, people-pleasing, keeping tight control, seeking reassurance or avoiding something that matters to you. These responses may bring some relief while also leaving you exhausted or making your world feel smaller.
There can be room to understand both: what a response has been doing for you, and what it is costing you now.
When knowing and feeling are different
You may already understand your anxiety very well. You might be able to explain why a situation is manageable and still feel your body bracing for it. That gap can be frustrating, especially if another part of you says you should be able to get over it.
We can listen to the worry and the frustration without turning either into another demand on you. Knowing something and feeling it can be different experiences. Therapy can give us space to explore what the anxious parts of you need, beyond another explanation.
Making space for your whole experience
Anxiety may be present in your thoughts, your body, your relationships or the way you organise your day. We can notice tension, restlessness, a sense of dread, or the effort involved in appearing fine while feeling overwhelmed inside.
We can also consider the circumstances around you. Uncertainty, pressure, discrimination, sensory demands or a lack of support may be part of the picture. Your experience makes sense within a life, and that wider context matters.
How we can work together
My work is centred on IFS. Together, we can get to know the parts that worry, prepare, avoid or push you to keep going, and understand what they fear would happen if they eased back. We will take their concerns seriously and move at a pace that feels safe to your whole system.
You do not have to disclose everything or revisit difficult experiences before you are ready. Some sessions may focus on what is happening now; others may explore older experiences when that feels useful and possible.
We can be flexible about how we work, guided by what you and your parts need at the time. Some days that may mean listening to a worry; on others, exploring what could help a part feel safe enough to carry less on its own. I bring my experience and suggestions, and we explore together what feels helpful. You can let me know when something does not fit, and the choice of where we go is yours.
You can explore how IFS approaches protective parts in more detail. If earlier experiences feel relevant, you may also find my page on trauma and shame helpful.
In IFS, curiosity, compassion and clarity are among the qualities associated with Self, the core of who we are. As you have more access to these qualities, you may find greater choice in how you respond to anxiety, alongside respect for the parts that have been trying so hard to protect you.
A first conversation
You do not need to wait until anxiety becomes unbearable, or know exactly what you want to say.
My practice is currently full. You are welcome to enquire about joining my waiting list, although joining it does not guarantee an appointment.
Fees and practical arrangements
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