Counselling with Shema
Different ways of finding understanding.
Books, poetry, videos, listening and useful support routes. Some draw on IFS; others offer different perspectives. You are welcome to explore whatever draws your attention and leave anything that does not fit. There is nothing here you need to complete.
If you need help now
This practice is not a crisis service. Messages are checked during working hours.
Immediate danger in the UK: call 999 or go to A&E if someone’s life is at risk or you cannot keep yourself or someone else safe.
Urgent mental health help in England: call 111 and select the mental health option, or ask your GP for an urgent appointment. NHS urgent-help guidance.
Someone to listen: Samaritans — 116 123 (UK and Ireland, free, 24 hours). Shout — text SHOUT to 85258 (UK, free, 24 hours). Childline — 0800 1111 (UK, under 19).
Outside the UK: use the emergency services where you are. UK numbers may not work abroad. Find a helpline in your country.
These resources can sit alongside therapy. They do not replace individual support or healthcare. If something feels significant, confusing or uncomfortable, we can make room for it together in a session.
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Different perspectives on our inner lives, relationships, trauma and grief. Read what draws you, at your own pace.
IFS & self-understanding
An introduction to getting to know your different inner responses with curiosity and compassion. The book includes exercises; you can read it without doing them.
About this book: No Bad Parts (opens in a new tab)
Poetry & recognition
Poetry inspired by Emma’s own experience of IFS. A different way of meeting the feelings and inner experiences that can be difficult to put into everyday words.
About this book: Poems for My Parts: An IFS Therapy Journey (opens in a new tab)
Relationships & connection
An IFS perspective on how our inner responses can shape connection with someone we love. Understanding ourselves does not make us responsible for another person’s behaviour.
About this book: You Are the One You’ve Been Waiting For (opens in a new tab)
Parenting & connection
An attachment perspective on the relationship between parents and children, and the place of connection in family life.
About this book: Hold On to Your Kids (opens in a new tab)
Trauma, health & society
Maté’s perspective on trauma, stress and the wider world we live in. An invitation to reflect, rather than an explanation for every illness or every person’s experience.
About this book: The Myth of Normal (opens in a new tab)
Grief, belonging & connection
A thoughtful exploration of grief, including losses we may find difficult to name, and the place of ritual, community and connection in carrying sorrow.
About this book: The Wild Edge of Sorrow (opens in a new tab)
Trauma & understanding
Conversations about trauma and the experiences that shape us, offering a compassionate way to understand our responses and the possibility of healing.
About this book: What Happened to You? (opens in a new tab)
Trauma, body & connection
An exploration of trauma, its effects on our experience of body and mind, and different approaches to recovery. Includes detailed accounts of traumatic experiences; you can read at your own pace and leave what feels too much.
About this book: The Body Keeps the Score (opens in a new tab)
Stress, health & emotional needs
Maté explores his perspective on the relationships between stress, emotional experience and physical health. An invitation to reflect on your needs and boundaries, without blaming yourself for illness or replacing medical care.
About this book: When the Body Says No (opens in a new tab)
Play therapy & understanding
An account of a young child’s play therapy, offering a window into how a child can communicate through play and be met with patient attention. This is a book for adults about a child’s experience, rather than a children’s storybook.
About this book: Dibs in Search of Self (opens in a new tab)
Trauma, love & connection
A therapist’s personal account of childhood trauma, identity and the longing for love and acceptance. It includes painful experiences of abuse as well as reflections on connection and healing.
About this book: To Be Loved: A Story of Truth, Trauma, and Transformation (opens in a new tab)
Illness, mortality & meaning
Derek Scott’s personal reflections on living with terminal cancer, weaving together IFS, psychedelic experiences and spirituality as he explores dying, connection and meaning. Includes reflections on illness, death and grief.
About this book: Dead (Spoiler Alert): A Psychotherapist’s Journey with Cancer (opens in a new tab)
IFS foundations
An accessible introduction to IFS, the different parts of our inner lives and the qualities of Self. Useful for personal understanding as well as a starting point for practitioners exploring the approach.
About this book: Introduction to Internal Family Systems (opens in a new tab)
Food, body image & compassion
An IFS perspective on our relationships with food and our bodies, including critical parts, body shame and the pressures of diet culture. Invites curiosity and compassion rather than another set of rules about how a body should look.
About this book: Unburdened Eating (opens in a new tab)
Couples, communication & connection
An Imago approach to understanding relationship patterns and creating more connected conversations. Written for couples and also useful to practitioners interested in how early experiences can shape the ways partners reach for one another.
About this book: Getting the Love You Want (opens in a new tab)
Family history & intergenerational patterns
Wolynn’s perspective on how family histories and intergenerational patterns may shape present experience. A starting point for reflecting on what we carry, without assuming that family history provides a single explanation for every difficulty.
About this book: It Didn’t Start with You (opens in a new tab)
Health, illness & cultural context
Neurologist Suzanne O’Sullivan explores accounts of illness across different communities and the relationships between symptoms, culture and social experience. One perspective on complex experiences of illness; it does not mean that symptoms are imagined or that every illness has a psychological explanation.
About this book: The Sleeping Beauties: And Other Stories of Mystery Illness (opens in a new tab)
Empathy & understanding people
A forensic psychologist’s memoir exploring the people behind difficult and sometimes disturbing behaviours. Shema recommends it for the empathy it can encourage: looking beyond a label or an action to the person and their experience. Includes accounts of crime, violence and distress; choose what feels right for you to read.
About this book: The Dark Side of the Mind (opens in a new tab)Stories to explore feelings, different parts of ourselves and the comfort of being listened to. You might read together and follow your child’s curiosity, without needing to turn the story into a lesson or ask them to talk before they are ready.
Getting to know our parts
The children’s picture book follows a boy through his day as he gets to know his different feelings and responses. An introduction to IFS and the idea that every part of us can be met with understanding.
About this book: No Bad Parts! (opens in a new tab)
Big feelings & inner parts
Emerson has big feelings and does not always understand what is happening inside. Through rhyme and an elephant’s story, children can explore different parts of themselves and how those parts relate to one another.
About this book: Emerson the Embodied Elephant (opens in a new tab)
Fear, curiosity & compassion
A story about a boy who becomes curious about the monsters he encounters. An IFS introduction for children and families, offering a way to explore frightening feelings and inner parts with kindness.
About this book: Nathan Meets His Monsters (opens in a new tab)
Being heard & making room for feelings
When something upsetting happens to Taylor, different animals offer their own answers. The rabbit stays close and listens. A gentle story about disappointment, loss and the comfort of having someone make room for how we feel.
About this book: The Rabbit Listened (opens in a new tab)Linked resources open only when you choose. No videos play automatically.
Understanding IFS
Richard Schwartz introduces Internal Family Systems and the idea of parts, offering a starting point for understanding the model.
Watch video: A short introduction to IFS (opens in a new tab)
Pain, coping & addiction
A talk exploring Maté’s view of addiction through pain and coping. It discusses difficult experiences and offers one perspective to consider.
Watch video: The Power of Addiction and The Addiction of Power (opens in a new tab)
Poetry & conversation
Emma talks about her writing and reads from her poems. An audio route into the book and the experiences behind it.
Listen to the episode: Poems For My Parts with Emma Coyne (opens in a new tab)
Parenting, love & connection
A short reflection on why meeting emotional needs with love and closeness is not the same as spoiling a child. Maté describes the importance of connection in helping us feel settled and supported.
Watch video: You Can’t Love Your Kids Too Much (opens in a new tab)
Shame, pain & addiction
Maté explores how addiction can become a way of escaping pain and shame, and why adding pressure or “tough love” can deepen that struggle. An invitation to respond with understanding rather than blame.
Watch video: How shame can drive addiction (opens in a new tab)
Younger parts, fear & self-expression
A musician and his younger self face the fear of singing. This animated story offers a way to reflect on the inner voices, younger parts and self-doubt that can make it difficult to express ourselves.
Watch video: I Am Tom Moody (opens in a new tab)
Stress, body & emotional experience
A talk in which Maté explores his perspective on stress, emotional experience and physical health. Space to reflect on connection and unmet needs, alongside the healthcare appropriate to your circumstances.
Watch video: When the Body Says No: Mind/Body Unity and the Stress-Disease Connection (opens in a new tab)
Parenting & our own parts
A series about noticing what happens within us when we react as parents, and finding more choice through that awareness.
Watch playlist: IFS and Parenting (opens in a new tab)
Story & reflection
A video reading to explore in your own time. You might notice what the story brings up for you, without needing to arrive at a particular interpretation.
Watch video: The Good Fairy (opens in a new tab)
Parenting & caring boundaries
A perspective on choices and caring boundaries. Consider ideas alongside your child’s development, neurotype, communication, sensory needs and capacity when overwhelmed.
Watch video: Choices, Cookies & Kids (opens in a new tab)
Connection & authenticity
An exploration of how we may learn to hide feelings or needs to protect connection, and the vulnerability those adaptations can carry.
Watch video: Authenticity and attachment (opens in a new tab)
Feelings & emotional understanding
A story for children and adults about Riley and the different emotions accompanying a big change in her life. Offers a way to explore sadness, joy, fear and the need for connection, whether watching together or reflecting on your own experience. The characters are a creative metaphor for emotions.
About this film: Inside Out (opens in a new tab)
Growing up, anxiety & belonging
Riley enters adolescence and meets new emotions, including Anxiety, as friendships and her sense of belonging change. A film for children and adults that can open conversations about worry, expectations and making room for different feelings. You can enjoy the story without needing to turn it into a lesson.
About this film: Inside Out 2 (opens in a new tab)
Parenting & accepting difference
A father tries to hide his son’s ability to float, then faces a choice about accepting him as he is. A short film to reflect on parenting, fear of judgement and making room for difference. Inspired by the director’s relationship with his autistic son. Includes moments of rejection and parental distress.
About this film: Float (opens in a new tab)Watch free on YouTube: Float (opens in a new tab)
Behind Float: a father’s experience of parenting an autistic child: Float (opens in a new tab)
Room for different minds, different ways of communicating, and your own experience. Free writing and information, with no tasks to complete.
Neurodiversity, identity & compassion
A personal reflection on diagnosis, belonging and the different feelings that labels can bring. Room for your experience to be more than a label.
Read more: I’m Not Just a Diagnostic Label (opens in a new tab)Communication & being understood
Emma reflects on autistic communication and the times when words are difficult. An invitation to recognise different ways of expressing ourselves, without pressure to speak in a particular way.
Read more: When Silence Speaks (opens in a new tab)Autistic experience & energy
Information about fatigue and burnout in autistic adults, including the demands of everyday life and the importance of understanding your needs.
Read more: Understanding autistic fatigue (opens in a new tab)ADHD information
A starting point for information about ADHD. You can explore questions about your experience without needing a diagnosis before approaching therapy.
Read more: Understanding ADHD (opens in a new tab)Affirming information, connection and support. Your identity does not need fixing.
LGBTQIA+ connection & listening
Free, confidential listening by volunteers from the LGBTQIA+ community, by phone, chat or email. For questions about identity, relationships, how you are feeling, or finding connection.
Visit website: A space to talk, as you are (opens in a new tab)LGBTQIA+ mental health
Information about finding mental health support, being open about your identity if you choose, and what to do if you experience discrimination or poor treatment.
Visit website: Finding support that understands you (opens in a new tab)LGBT+ safety & support
Specialist support for LGBT+ adults aged 18 and over who have experienced abuse or violence, including domestic abuse, sexual violence and conversion practices.
Visit website: Support after abuse or violence (opens in a new tab)Further reading and research for those who want to explore more deeply.
Trauma research & understanding
A collection of research references on trauma, relationships, body and mind, including work by Bessel van der Kolk. A route for those who want to explore the research more deeply; some material is technical.
Read more: Trauma Research Foundation resources (opens in a new tab)Understanding and support, without a timetable for how you should feel.
Grief & loss
Information about different experiences of grief, with room for your own response and pace.
Read more: Understanding grief (opens in a new tab)Free online information for people living with persistent pain. These resources can sit alongside medical care. Pain is real, and needing support is not a personal failure.
Living with persistent pain
Free online leaflets and the Airing Pain podcast, bringing together people living with pain and health professionals. Explore what is useful to you; there is no programme you need to complete.
Visit website: Pain information and lived experience (opens in a new tab)IFS & persistent pain
An article exploring an IFS perspective on persistent pain, including the parts carrying hurt and the parts trying to protect us. Consider it alongside medical assessment and care, rather than as an explanation for every kind of pain.
Visit website: IFS and Chronic Pain: Listening to Inner Parts that Hold the Hurt (opens in a new tab)Writing and personal experiences from my own inner work, with room to follow what resonates for you.
Connection, rest & protective parts
Explore reflections on connection, rest, change, parenting and addictive processes, alongside personal experiences and the understanding I bring to therapy.
Explore the reflections: A space to pause and reflect (opens in a new tab)The public books throughout this page can be useful to professionals too. These additional titles offer more detailed theory, clinical approaches and perspectives for practitioners and trainees. They are grouped by subject so you can follow the areas that interest you.
Theory, practical skills and different ways of extending or thinking about IFS.
IFS skills & clinical practice
A practice manual with explanations of IFS processes, annotated clinical examples and exercises. A companion for practitioners developing their understanding of parts work and how it can be used in therapy.
About this book: Internal Family Systems Skills Training Manual (opens in a new tab)
IFS theory & practice
A detailed presentation of the IFS model, including the role of Self, protective parts and the therapist. Clinical examples and practical guidance connect the theory with work with individuals, couples and families.
About this book: Internal Family Systems Therapy (2nd edition) (opens in a new tab)
IFS applications & further learning
A collection of clinical perspectives on applying IFS to different experiences and contexts, including trauma, addiction, parenting, grief and legacy burdens. Offers case material for practitioners who want to broaden their understanding of the model.
About this book: IFS: Innovations and Elaborations in Internal Family Systems Therapy (opens in a new tab)
IFS integration & clinical perspectives
Clinical chapters exploring how IFS can be used across different therapeutic settings and client experiences. Practical illustrations offer a bridge between introductory learning and the questions that emerge in the therapy room.
About this book: Internal Family Systems Therapy: New Dimensions (opens in a new tab)
IFS & spiritual perspectives
Falconer explores IFS alongside spiritual and cultural understandings of experiences he calls ‘unattached burdens’. Includes case accounts and the author’s reflections on mind, meaning and ways of working with these experiences.
About this book: The Others Within Us: Internal Family Systems, Porous Mind, and Spirit Possession (opens in a new tab)Specialist perspectives on shame, complex trauma and dissociative experiences.
Shame, guilt & protective parts
An IFS exploration of shame and guilt, with annotated therapy examples, exercises and guidance for practitioners. It considers the relationships between wounded parts, protective responses and the possibility of a kinder inner relationship.
About this book: Internal Family Systems Therapy for Shame and Guilt (opens in a new tab)
Complex trauma & dissociation
A specialist text integrating IFS with approaches from the trauma and dissociation field. Explores stabilisation, coping, affect regulation and working respectfully with protective parts when complex trauma or dissociative experiences are present.
About this book: Trauma and Dissociation Informed Internal Family Systems: How to Successfully Treat C-PTSD and Dissociative Disorders (opens in a new tab)
IFS & complex trauma
An IFS approach to working with complex trauma, connecting clinical examples with perspectives on attachment and neuroscience. Offers practitioners ways to think about protective responses, the therapeutic relationship and the pace of trauma work.
About this book: Transcending Trauma: Healing Complex PTSD with Internal Family Systems (opens in a new tab)Clinical approaches to addictive processes and the protective roles they can hold.
Addictive processes & protective parts
An IFS perspective on substance use and other addictive processes, including eating and gambling. Clinical examples and exercises explore the protective roles of these behaviours and compassionate ways of working with the pain beneath them.
About this book: Internal Family Systems Therapy for Addictions (opens in a new tab)IFIO theory and practical clinical skills for working with couples.
IFIO & couple therapy
An introduction to the IFIO approach to couple therapy, with clinical illustrations of how partners’ inner systems interact. Explores self-understanding, emotional safety and communicating on behalf of parts rather than being caught in their reactions.
About this book: Intimacy from the Inside Out: Courage and Compassion in Couple Therapy (opens in a new tab)
IFIO skills & relationships
A practical IFIO manual for clinicians working with couples. Case examples, exercises and worksheets explore how to support partners in understanding their protective patterns and creating conversations with more room for connection.
About this book: Internal Family Systems Couples Therapy Skills Manual (opens in a new tab)Books for adults working therapeutically with children and families. Children’s storybooks are listed separately above.
IFS with children
An adaptation of IFS for work with children, focused on understanding their inner worlds and building respectful therapeutic relationships. The second edition brings together Lisa Spiegel and Claire Stubbs’s perspectives on child-focused practice.
About this book: Internal Family Systems Therapy with Children (2nd edition) (opens in a new tab)
IFS, attachment & family work
An IFS approach to child-focused family therapy, integrating attachment and systemic perspectives. Therapy vignettes explore children’s experiences in the context of their families and the protective responses carried by both children and adults.
About this book: Transforming Troubled Children, Teens, and Their Families: An Internal Family Systems Model for Healing (opens in a new tab)
Child development & therapeutic understanding
An edited guide to children’s physical, social and identity development and its relevance to therapeutic work. The second edition includes perspectives on brain development, cultural identity and technology, alongside resources for conversations with caregivers and teachers.
About this book: A Therapist’s Guide to Child Development: The Extraordinarily Normal Years (2nd edition) (opens in a new tab)Practice texts exploring the therapeutic relationship through play and sandtray.
Sandtray practice
A practical foundation for sandtray work, including the process, materials and therapeutic relationship. Considers cultural contexts, clinical practice and the ways sandtray can offer expression when words are difficult or do not feel sufficient.
About this book: Sandtray Therapy: A Practical Manual (opens in a new tab)
Child-centred play therapy
A foundation in child-centred play therapy and the relationship at its heart. Explores understanding the child’s world, therapeutic responses, boundaries and the practitioner’s presence, with examples from play therapy practice.
About this book: Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (opens in a new tab)Person-centred foundations in empathy, presence, acceptance and personal growth.
Presence & the person-centred approach
Rogers reflects on empathy, presence, communication and what it means to meet another person. Foundational reading for practitioners, with much to offer anyone interested in relationships and a more humane way of being.
About this book: A Way of Being (opens in a new tab)
Therapeutic relationship & personal growth
A collection of Rogers’s writing on the conditions that can support personal growth and change. Explores acceptance, understanding and the therapeutic relationship, for practitioners and readers curious about the experience of becoming more fully themselves.
About this book: On Becoming a Person: A Therapist’s View of Psychotherapy (opens in a new tab)Finding further support
These organisations offer information or direct support. Check each service’s location, eligibility and current availability. The links are here for information and support relevant to what you may be experiencing. They do not describe services provided by my practice.
Mental health information, rights and ways to find support. England and Wales.
Information and support for people affected by bereavement. Check the service available in your area.
Information for people living with persistent pain and those close to them.
Drug and alcohol information and support in England and Scotland.
Specialist information and support following rape or sexual abuse.
Sexual violence information and support in Scotland.
Support for adults affected by childhood abuse. UK.
Information and support for women experiencing domestic abuse.
Support for men experiencing domestic abuse. UK.
Mental health information for young people, parents and carers. UK.
Listening and support for young people under 19. UK.
Advice if you are worried about a child, and support for parents and carers. UK.
Reporting and advice about online sexual abuse involving children and young people. UK.
Urgent-support details and new resource sources checked on 10 October 2026. External services may change.
A resource may give you words for something, raise a question or simply leave you unsure. You are welcome to bring that into our conversation. You do not need to prepare or complete anything before therapy.
My practice is currently full. You are welcome to enquire about joining my waiting list, although joining it does not guarantee an appointment.
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