Counselling for children, young people and their families

It can be hard to ask for help for your child. You may worry about being judged, about what support will mean for them, or whether someone will understand your family. Part of you may want help while another feels protective or unsure.

Seeking support is not an admission that you have failed your child. It can be an act of care for them and for yourself. You are welcome to bring questions, uncertainty and your own hopes about what help might look like.

A child’s anger, withdrawal or need for control may be carrying feelings they cannot yet explain. Sometimes a fierce response protects a frightened or hurt part of them. I bring curiosity to what the response is doing for them, as well as care for how it affects the people around them.

Understanding does not mean giving up boundaries. It means making room for the child’s needs and feelings while helping the adults around them offer connection, steadiness and care. Your child is more than the behaviour that has brought you here.

A small figure in the sandtray, a drawing or a playful story can make room for something that words cannot quite reach. I use play, sandtray and a range of creative and relational techniques alongside IFS. A young person can stay with their story or image without having to explain what it means in their everyday life.

I do not assume that I know what a figure or scene means. Their meaning matters. There is no need to be good at art, know IFS language or make a creation that looks a particular way. I follow their interests and ways of communicating, with room for movement, imagination and quiet.

Your child’s distress may stir your own fear, guilt, helplessness or a voice saying you should be doing better. You might find yourself reacting strongly, then feeling ashamed afterwards. I want to understand those responses too, without making you or your child the person to blame.

Connection does not require perfect parenting. It can include recognising when something has hurt, taking responsibility and finding a way back to each other. Parents and carers are part of the support around the child, and deserve support themselves. We can hold both your child’s needs and the pressures you are carrying.

If it speaks to you: wanting to be patient and finding yourself shouting →

School, friendships, bullying, loss, family change, identity and being neurodivergent can all shape a young person’s experience. Feeling different or trying to fit expectations that do not suit them can affect how they feel about themselves. A child who seems to be coping may be using a great deal of energy to hold things together.

There is space for neurodivergent experiences, sensory needs, identity and the effort of masking, as well as the strengths, interests and relationships that matter to them.

I work with children and young people from age 5, where support is suitable for their individual development and needs. I use IFS alongside my child and adolescent trauma training, play, sandtray and other creative approaches. There is room for different communication styles, sensory needs and ways of expressing feelings.

Young people need to know that their voice matters and that they can have real privacy. Family involvement does not mean hearing every detail they share. We talk together about what is private, what might be shared and why, in language that makes sense to them.

Feeling sad, angry, worried or confused does not automatically mean I will tell someone else. There is room to talk, play or express difficult feelings without every conversation becoming a safety concern.

If I am concerned that a child or someone else is at risk of harm, I may need to involve an appropriate adult or service to help keep them safe. This is about getting support, not the young person being in trouble. Wherever safe and possible, I explain what needs to be shared and include them in that conversation. I share only what is needed for that purpose.

Young people, parents and carers are welcome to ask about these boundaries at any point. We can return to them whenever someone needs reassurance.

You may find these perspectives useful when thinking about your own parts, choices and caring boundaries. Any ideas need to fit your child’s development, communication and sensory needs, and the support they need when overwhelmed. You are welcome to bring questions about what feels helpful for your family. You can also explore parenting resources and resources about neurodivergence.