Bereavement
& Loss
Space for your grief, in all the ways it comes
Loss can change both your life and your sense of who you are within it. You may feel longing, sadness, anger or guilt. There may also be relief, numbness, moments of laughter, or times when you cannot quite believe what has happened.
There is room for all of this. You do not need to feel one particular way, follow a timetable, or have words for your experience before seeking support.
When different parts of you grieve differently
One part of you may want to talk about the person you have lost, while another wants to keep busy. One may feel ready to make changes, while another is frightened that moving forward would mean leaving someone behind. You may long for company and also need to be alone.
Internal Family Systems (IFS) offers a way of listening to these different responses with compassion. Each may be holding something important: love, pain, unfinished words, the need for rest, or a wish to protect you from feelings that seem too much.
We can make space for these experiences without asking you to choose one as the right way to grieve. Feeling relief does not make your grief less real. Enjoying a moment does not undo your love. Numbness can also be met with care, without forcing feelings to arrive.
The relationship you carry
Grief may include the relationship you had, the relationship you wished you had, and the future you expected to share. When a relationship was difficult or complicated, loss can bring feelings that are hard to speak about elsewhere.
You are welcome to bring the whole relationship into therapy, including what was loving, painful, unresolved or missing. We can explore guilt and ‘what ifs’ gently, with room for the circumstances you were living in and what was possible at the time.
There can also be space to remember, to speak someone’s name, and to consider how you want to carry your connection with them. We can explore what continuing to live means for you, with respect for what you want to keep close.
Making space for grief can also mean making space for the rest of you. A moment of joy, connection or relief can sit alongside missing someone. We can explore what feels possible for you, without rushing your feelings or asking you to move on.
Finding yourself in a changed life
After a loss, everyday life may feel unfamiliar. Your role in a family, your relationships, routines or hopes for the future may have changed. Other people may seem ready to return to normal while you are still trying to understand what normal could mean now.
Grief can also bring earlier losses closer to the surface. Anniversaries, ordinary reminders or unexpected moments may stir feelings you thought had settled. We can give these experiences attention without measuring your progress against someone else’s expectations.
Alongside bereavement, there is room to explore other losses: a relationship, health, a role, a hoped-for future, or a sense of belonging. Your loss does not need to be visible to other people to matter.
How we can work together
I offer a place where you can bring what is present, including silence, uncertainty and feelings that seem to contradict each other. My role is to stay alongside you with compassion and curiosity, without setting a destination for your grief.
Through IFS, we can listen to the parts that are hurting and those helping you get through the day. We can attend to what each needs, whether that is being heard, feeling supported, making space for memories or finding a little more steadiness.
What you need from therapy may change as you live with your loss. There may be days for talking, days for remembering, and days when a part of you needs support with something that feels overwhelming. I bring different ways of working, and we explore together what feels right for you. We can change direction, pause or stay with something a little longer; you have a say throughout.
Self-leadership, in IFS, means meeting your inner experience with more compassion, curiosity and clarity. In grief, that may mean allowing different feelings to be present and listening to what you need today. There is no requirement to find closure or stop missing someone.
A first conversation
You can seek support soon after a loss or much later. You do not need to know whether your grief is ‘enough’ to bring to therapy.
My practice is currently full. You are welcome to enquire about joining my waiting list, although joining it does not guarantee an appointment.
Fees and practical arrangements
Enquire